We consider that central to our faith, foundational to our rescue, is that we are in a trusting relationship with Jesus Christ. And there is much we can learn from the accounts written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, concerning how Jesus relates to people. One of the most defined relationships described in the gospels is that between Jesus and Peter.
Peter, of course, is so very human! He makes mistakes. When Jesus says, "Come!", Peter tries to keep the children away. When Jesus says, "Come!", Peter starts to sink in Lake Galilee. When Jesus takes up the towel and the water bowl, Peter resists the foot-washing. When Jesus declares he must die, Peter tries to stop him going to the cross. And when Jesus says, "Pray!" Peter falls asleep in Gethsemane.
Peter has this amazing experience of seeing Jesus transfigured, shining stood on the mountain as God's glory swirls around him. Peter does not understand, but he blurts out his idea about building three shelters, so that Jesus, Moses and Elijah can be permanently accommodated! He wants all three to stay.
Peter of course, along with all of Jesus followers, struggled with his crazy teaching and seemingly reckless behaviour. The sabbath day law is crystal clear, but Jesus not only admits to working on the sabbath, but says Father God is working too. Jesus flatly contradicts the mass of Old Testament law about the prohibition of eating unclean food. Jesus countermands the Old Testament law of lex talionis - eye for eye, and comes up with his bleeding-heart wimpy 'love your enemy' nonsense. The teachers of the law are almost unanimous that Jesus is a law breaker, a heretic and a blasphemer.
Peter is struggling with holding Jesus in one hand, and the Scriptures in the other. So when he sees Jesus plus Moses plus Elijah, he is desperate to keep all three. But as we know, the glory of God hides all three from his sight, and when he can see again, Moses and Elijah have disappeared, and Jesus is standing alone. To underline the point, a voice speaks in his ear, "This is my Son, listen to him". (italics mine)
You see, Peter, just like you and me, prefers to follow a set of rules rather than following the unpredictable whims of Jesus! At least with a set of rules you know where you are. And how much you are committed. And what your get-out-clause can be. And Peter does not know Jesus enough, or trust Jesus enough, to feel comfortable just making an open ended committment to follow.
Relationship is much more frightening than rules.
But rules kill love. Because rules put a limit on trust.
For example, a man should not say to his wife, "I have given it a great deal of thought my dear, and I have decided to express my love to you by giving you flowers. So the rule is - every Friday, I bring you flowers. And to express my love, I have decided to have a rule which says, I have to kiss you once each day, and three times on Sunday."
It's laughable. Because it is not how relationships work! No relationship is in essence a legally binding contractual agreement with terms and conditions. And our relationship with our Father God is an intimate relationship of love.
Think of how Jesus prayed in Gethsemane. He was totally focussed on those things that were of paramount importance, in those final hours before his death. He pleaded with our Father that the Spirit of God would fill us with God's life and God's love. He asked that each person would be united with God the Father and God the Son just as the Father and the Son are united with each other.
But 2000 years of church history have shown that people and churches and institutions are pulled inexorably away from a vulnerable trusting love relationship with all its freedom and risk, and into a business contract with written regulations, and codes of practice, as well as a plethora of unwritten rules and assumed expectations. This question dominated the early church, and as a result, much of the New Testament explores and unequivocally clarifies that issue. Paul wrote extensively on this topic to multiple groups of Christians in various cities.
To those in Corinth, he wrote that we are "ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."
To those in Ephesus, he wrote that we are rooted and established in this love which is high and deep and wide and long.
To those in Galatia, he wrote "I died to the law".
Writing to those in Rome he said that the old nature is held in check by the law and leads to death, but the new nature is controlled by the Spirit and leads to life and peace.
He takes up the whole of Romans chapter 7 - to describe the hopelessness of trying to live by obeying God's law, and how it inevitably leads to failure, and guilt, and misery.
And then he takes up another whole chapter - Romans 8 - in describing how to respond when we realise that we have sinned. And it is to focus not on the failure, but to remember that his relationship with God is one grounded in love, because God chooses to put his own loving Holy Spirit into Paul's heart.
When I sin, I have drifted away from being intimate with Jesus Christ, so I need to get back to that condition where moment by moment, I am letting Jesus Christ live through me.
So don't focus on sin, or failure, or guilty feelings, or actual guilt. Instead focus on the relationship.
And when we let Jesus live in us, and form this intimate relationship with us, it is astounding how different our life is.
And finally, there's a bit more we can learn from Peter's journey of faith.
All this time, two things have been happening. We have been trying to understand how we can live better lives, be better people, and avoid "the sin that so easily entangles". But in fact our Father in Heaven is fundamentally trying to do something different.
Now consider what happens to Peter, in what is certainly the defining point in his life. Just when Peter needed to be a faithful disciple, he failed in the most publicly humiliating way possible. While Jesus was pouring out his love and his life and shedding his blood, Peter was faithless, terrified, cursing, and denying that he had ever known Jesus.
We can understand what went on. The fear of Roman torture, the stench of death, the screams of agony, the mob violence out of control, and Peter standing alone.
But when Peter meets Jesus after the resurrection, Jesus has only one question.
Peter is focussed on his failure, his cursing, his shame, his betrayal.
Jesus is focussed on the relationship.
Jesus had told Peter that he would deny him three times. And Peter did exactly that!
Jesus asks the question three times, once for each denial. "Do you love me?"
Now of course, Jesus knows the answer better than Peter himself does. But each time Peter fails, and each time you and I fail, Jesus wants us to ask ourselves, "Do I really love Jesus?"
Now look, this is important. Jesus does NOT ask this so Peter will feel condemned and guilty. Jesus knows that Peter already feels utterly wretched!
Peter is hurt because Jesus asks him, "Do you love me?" He is hurt because Peter knows full well that he does love Jesus! But Jesus is bringing Peter back to focus on the relationship. Specifically so that he can reaffirm in his own mind that he loves Jesus.
So the takeaway for us is ... When you fail, do not focus on your sin. Focus on the relationship that you have with Jesus Christ. Because relationship matters!
And to be clear, sin does matter. But it only matters because it spoils your relationship with God. Fundamentally, God's absolute priority is establishing relationships of love between us, and our lovely Father in heaven.
